Needed: Kitty Names!

OK, so maybe I just got this kitten as a way to distract myself from dealing with my real issues.  And so far, it's working.  I've spent lots of money at the pet store lately and I'm still trying to figure out how to keep the kitten food away from the adult cats.

But my distraction still needs a name.  He's a boy and a Russian Blue (or at least mostly a Russian Blue), and I SWEAR I will get a pic of him up here soon.  Suggestions (along with some of my own ideas thrown in) so far have been:

• Asher
• Cloud
• Dusk
• Dusty

*These first four are from my brother and are (obviously) based on nothing more than the fact that the cat is grey.  He's not the most creative guy you've ever met, to say the least.

• Sanon (S-anon formed into one word)
• Doorknob (inside joke for all of us who dislike 12-step programs.  We say, "Oh, so our higher power doesn't have to be God, eh?  Well, in that case, my higher power is a doorknob.")  I could always call him DK for short.
• HP (for higher power, but it sounds too much like the computer company and besides, if I DO end up following the steps, what good will it do to have a higher power that will DIE eventually?)
• A couple of names from "Wicked" that I can't remember since I never got to see the show :-(
• Thatcher (after the Margaret Thatcher quote that I have posted in the signature of all my emails)
• Rand (duh)
• Ramsey (after Dave Ramsey, of whom I am a HUGE fan)
• Fuerza
• Renova
• Ferdinand
• Valentino
• Ferdinand Valentino
• Buddha

Ferdinand/Valentino is my husband's idea- something about how the names together mean something to the effect of, "courageous venture/ health in love"...I don't know where he gets this information, but perhaps that is true.  I don't know.  I don't have a baby name book sitting around and I don't care enough to Google it.

I am sure of one thing.  I want the name to be symbolic in some sense of what I am going through right now. I want this growth of this kitten to represent the growth that I hope to achieve.  It may be awhile before I decide upon a name...I guess it doesn't matter much considering he's only 2 months old...and let's be real: how many cats really respond to their name anyway?  My other two respond to my tone of voice way more than their names.

I could always name him COSLAA (Codependents of Sex and Love Addicts).  When people ask his name, they'd probably spell it "Coleslaw," but who gives a shit?  If I corrected them I would have to explain what it all stood for and that's not a conversation I want to have all the time!

I feel like the perfect name just hasn't come to me yet.  When it does, I think I will know.  The co-addict in me really wants to like Ferdinand because my husband really likes it.  But I don't think I do.  Makes me think of Franz Ferdinand, Archduke Francis Ferdinand...I mean, why do I want to be reminded of these people when I think of my cat?

Any ideas would be greatly appreciated!  I will try to get a pic up soon!

Easy Ways to Make Myself Feel Better That I Avoid

In trying times, most of us know what we need to do to make ourselves feel better.  But why is so difficult to actually do those things?  Why do we (I?) instead make deliberate choices to either 1) not do those things, or 2) do things that make us feel worse?


I've lived like this for so long that I really don't know any different.  Truthfully, I believe that part of it was learned in high school when I would try to do things that I enjoyed only to be told that I was lazy or wasting my time.  So instead of doing the things that I rationally know will make me feel good, I create excuses to avoid them.  Or I replace them with activities that will make me feel worse.  For example:


1. Yoga: Why oh why do I avoid yoga?  It's offered to me practically free once a week at the gym at work.  I have a yoga mat, I know the basic moves.  I have a few DVDs-- I even have iPod apps dedicated to the topic.  I feel so much better after I do it.  And yet, the excuses are many (and flimsy).  I don’t have time, I’m tired, I don’t want to have to take a shower afterwards, I would rather read my book during my lunch than work out, and on and on.


2. Taking a Shower/Bath: So often when I am depressed or apathetic, I go for days without bathing.  It’s a catch-22, because that usually makes me more depressed and less likely to finally just bite the bullet and do it.  But is there anything better than getting out of the shower and feeling clean and fresh?  But it just takes so much effort (OK, I know it really doesn’t, but this is what I tell myself when I am coming up with excuses to avoid it).  I’m tired, I would rather crash on the couch, I don’t feel like standing up so long (yes, I actually think that!), I don’t want to wait for my hair to dry, I’m not going anywhere anytime soon, so what’s the point?


3. Reaching out to Friends: Isolating yourself in low times is by far one of the worst things you can do.  Yet, it’s my first line of defense.  I would much rather be miserable by myself; I don’t want to bitch and moan to my friends about my (sometimes relatively insignificant) problems.  I want to stay at home, ignore phone calls (and sometimes texts and emails), knowing full well that I am nearly always energized when I talk to or see friends.  It’s another “rock and a hard place” situation because the more I avoid my friends, the more guilt and fear that I have that they will eventually give up on our friendship because I am so unavailable.


4. Clean the House: OK, maybe not clean, but at least straighten up.  I’m really trying to be better about this in my new place and it’s been easier because it’s much smaller than the house my husband and I were sharing.  Granted, the actual cleaning isn’t all that uplifting.  But there really is something to be said for sitting down in a nicely cleaned room.  It just makes you feel at peace, no matter what you’re doing.  My goal for the new place is to just not let it get out of hand like I did at home.  So maybe this will be one of those things that I won’t have to avoid because it won’t become a problem.  (Cross your fingers.)


Do you consciously avoid doing things that you know will make you feel better?  Do you know why you do it?


Do you replace those activities with others that actually make you feel more disgusted with yourself?  I’ll address those maladaptive behaviors tomorrow!